From Her Perspective

When I was on my first date with my now-husband, I had a cold.  Like, a really terrible, gross cold; the kind where your face puffs up and everything hurts and you are hawking up fluids every thirteen seconds.  But I liked him way too much to postpone the date, so I stocked up on Mucinex and hoped for the best.  This, of course, sort of backfired when all of a sudden I choked out a wad of phlegm the approximate size of a football while I was trying to be flirtatious.  Nice.  Then we each had fourteen beers and no dinner, and my fate was sealed.  It was my last first date, and it was pretty memorable.

But of course I had been on a million other first dates – some that went somewhere, many that did not, and I will say that for the most part, the majority of the fun of first dates involves the anticipation that comes before it.  At that point, nobody has vomited on anyone’s shoes (whoops!), nobody has talked incessantly about their last ex and how much they now hate commitment, nobody has gotten explosive diarrhea (my date, NOT me).  Everyone is perfect, nobody has messed up yet, and for all you know, this could be the last first date you ever have.

Most likely, this doesn’t happen, and it seems like people do things to sabotage themselves all the time.  It’s always the easy ones, like talking too much about oneself, that people remember, but there are a bunch of other little things you can do, or not do, to make sure you come off looking like a good person (read: not a freak, creep or loser). 

Unless your date is an avid non-drinker, a little booze is vital to loosen up tongues.  And if it’s going well, or really badly, you’re probably going to end up sort of wasted.  Just keep it in check enough to realize what you’re saying, you know?  Because you’re going to say something that makes you look stupid or mean.  And blackouts on a first date are never attractive. 

Smelling good is vitally important.  Even if you don’t wear cologne typically, as long as you have that nice, soapy smell you will be fine.  You’re probably going to hug when you meet up at the beginning of the date, and it’s nice to be able to breathe into that spot on a person’s neck and smell something nice.  You don’t want to be that guy who stinks on a date.  Nobody can ever bounce back from that.

Touching a little bit is nice, especially if you’re getting along, but don’t be a weirdo and touch too much – it’s creepy.  Not enough is always better.  There’s plenty of time for groping later.  However, it is nice to put your hand on the small of a girl’s back when you’re walking somewhere.  It’s gentlemanly.  But don’t do it if you don’t think she likes you, then it will just be annoying.

Pay.  Always pay.  If you are broke, go somewhere cheap.  But always pay.  Once I went on a date where the guy made me buy all of my own stuff the whole night, and even though he was nice, I couldn’t deal with it and that was the only date we went on.  Like I said, you don’t have to spend a lot of money, but again, it’s gentlemanly. 

I always liked first dates – it’s so exciting, you get to wear new clothes, flirt, and drink a lot.  Always remember that it’s supposed to be fun.  Don’t be so nervous and awkward that the night is ruined.  Just relax.  Eventually, you’ll have your last first date, but until you do, enjoy it!